Forever and Always
by filesfreak4life
Summary: Kate Beckett never thought she would get happily ever after... and when she gets a phone call late one evening, she realizes she may have been right all along. Caskett Angst...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: All right… I've written for other shows and this is my latest obsession, so here I am! I was VERY inspired by a fan video on youTube called "Castle : Forever and Always" by atem schnapper. If you haven't seen it you should check it out. Words in bold are the song by Parachute entitled "Forever and Always" and words in italics are flashbacks for Beckett. I hope you enjoy it… and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer… I don't own 'em… I wish I did… but I don't!

**She's sitting at the table, the hours get later**

**He was supposed to be here.**

**She's sure he would have called.**

Everything looks perfect… just the way she thought about it in her head when she hatched the plan earlier this week. He had book obligations for the newest Nikki Heat, so he hadn't been around the precinct much in the past few weeks. If she was being honest, he hadn't been around anywhere much in the past few weeks. They took the plunge and officially moved her in a few months ago, after he proposed and everything was falling into place. It wasn't at all what she had expected out of her life… she didn't think that she would actually get the happy ending that everyone else strived for. He waltzed in and annoyed the crap out of her when they first met, regardless of the fact that yes, she was a member of his fan club. They still laugh about that whole thing, and she finally admitted to him about a year ago that his books were what got her through her mother's death years ago.

Tonight, though, was something entirely different, but entirely about the happy ending that she was holding on to with both arms. She lets a small smile creep over her features as she sits down at the table and checks her watch. Her thoughts had gotten away from her, because she realizes that he is an hour late for their plans. The hour gets to her then, and stifling a yawn, she thinks that maybe she should call him.

Picking up her cell, she selects him from her favorites list and it goes straight to voice mail.

"Hey, Castle. It's me… I'm waiting here for our dinner date and everything is ready, but you aren't here. I understand if Paula is keeping you a bit later, but can you give me a call and let me know where you are? You usually call if you're going to be this late… You better not be autographing any chests, Mr. Castle… or Mrs. C to be is going to come after you with her gun…I love you." She says, and hits the end button with a laugh.

That's when she notices her subconscious move, and lets her smile grow even wider as she moves to double check the dinner she made for him.

**She waits a little longer.**

**There's no one in the driveway**

**No one's said they've seen him**

**Why, is something wrong?**

Realizing that he may be a little longer, she curls up with the latest of his novels and remembers a conversation they had when he was releasing it.

"_You know, Castle… I was thinking, and don't you think it's weird to write Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook now that we're together?"_

_He stops to think for a moment before answering, "Why would you think that?"_

"_I don't know… you and me… them… I know the parallels…"_

"_Yeah, I do too… that's why I write them, and that's why I'll continue to write them…"_

"_So you aren't going to kill Nikki Heat off like you did Derrek Storm?"_

"_Do you think I'm ever going to stop loving you, Katherine Beckett?"_

_Her eyebrows knit together in confusion for a moment before she asks, "What does that have to do with you stopping loving me?"_

_For that response, he kisses her, long and slow. She could actually feel the love pouring out of him with the kiss. "My dear Kate… the first novel I wrote was because I was inspired by you. The rest weren't for money… weren't for the job."_

"_Then what were they?"_

"_My love letters to you… Yes, I know that they could be gruesome at times, and sometimes you hated what I did with Nikki Heat, but they were all just for you. It was the dedication of _Heat Wave_ that made me realize it…"_

"_To the Extraordinary KB?"_

"_I always write my dedication last… usually right before I send it to be printed. It was after that first book that I knew that I would always write them for you."_

_She couldn't keep the tear from slipping down her cheek at his words. To be that loved was something she feared she would never be a part of, and here he was, parading his love for her on the NY Times bestseller list for all to see._

"_I love you, Castle…"_

"_I'm glad… seeing as how you agreed to marry me…"_

This time when she looked at the clock, she was worried. He was supposed to be here, so she calls down to the doorman.

"Mr. Castle?" the tinny voice answers from the intercom.

"It's Miss Beckett, Bobby… I was wondering if you could check to see if Rick's car is here yet?"

"Anxious for your fiancé to get home?" he says with a laugh.

"He was supposed to be home a few hours ago, so I thought I would see if he was sitting in his car on the phone. It went straight to voice mail and sometimes he does that."

"I'll go check."

She paces for a few minutes when she is startled by the buzz, "Miss Beckett?"

"Yes?"

"His car isn't here, ma'am. Do you need me to do anything?"

"No, Bobby, but thank you for looking."

It's then that she decides that maybe she should give Paula a call to see if they are still at the event he was scheduled to do.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Paula? It's Kate Beckett…"

"Ah, the notorious Nikki Heat in the flesh."

"I don't… I don't have time for our normal introduction."

"Why, is something wrong?"

"Can you tell me what time Rick is going to be home? We sort of had plans this evening, and he thought he was getting out early."

"He did. He left hours ago… around 7:00 because he said he had dinner plans with you."

"What?"

"I saw him get in his car myself. Have you tried his cell?"

"It went straight to voice mail."

"I don't know what to say, Kate. I know he left."

"Thank you."

"Please call me when he gets home… let me know that he's okay?"

"I will. I'm sure there's an explanation."

**She looks back to the window**

**Suddenly the phone rings**

**A voice says something's happened**

**That she should come right now**

She puts the phone down, thinking about her next steps as her stomach churns with thought and something else entirely. Where could he be? She steps over to the windows of their living room, looking out on the city she swore to protect. She's thinking about next steps to find him when the ringing of her phone startles her. When she sees a number she doesn't recognize, her mind races for a moment.

"Beckett."

"Is this Katherine Beckett?"

"This is, can I help you."

"I have you listed as the main emergency contact for Richard Castle?"

"Where… um… why are…" she stammers for a moment before collecting herself the way she knows she can. "Where is he?"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but something's happened, and I think it would be best if you came down to the hospital."

"Which hospital?"

"Presbyterian."

"I'll be right there." She says as she shakily puts the phone down.

She should call Alexis and Martha, but thinks twice about it. She needs to know the situation before she calls in the cavalry. Richard Castle has always gotten himself into trouble, so he very well could have fallen and broken his leg on a curb somewhere. Yes… she can't think about anything else, because she is the one who has the dangerous job… he worries about her… she has nothing to worry about.

Regardless of those thoughts, she clutches her stomach and runs to the master bathroom to release everything she ate today.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Positive reaction to this one, especially since I've never written Castle fic before... I hope you got a chance to check out the video and/or listen to the song, cause it's a beautiful ballad... Anyways... on with the fic, and if you like what you read, send me a review or message if you would like!_

_Disclaimer again: I would have a WAY cooler car if I owned them._

**Her mind goes to December.**

**She thinks of when he asked her.**

**He bent down on his knee first.**

When she gets out of the bathroom, she calls down to Bobby again, asking him to get her a car as soon as possible. She knows that she can't drive herself to the hospital with the dizzying thoughts in her mind. He tells her that she should make her way downstairs and he'll figure everything out for her.

When she grabs her coat and purse, her eye catches on the sparkling diamond she wore on her left hand. She had been self conscious about wearing the ring after a few days of having it, so she put it on a necklace next to her mother's ring. It wasn't until her dad mentioned something about it that she realized she wanted it on display for everyone to see. She wanted the girlish indulgence of people realizing that she was engaged. Engaged to Richard Castle.

"_So, you're happy about this?" he asks, rubbing circles on her shoulder as she is draped over his chest after they celebrated their engagement._

"_Honestly, I don't know how I feel about any of this…"_

_He starts to say something, but she puts a few fingers to his lips to stop his protest. "Not like that… I mean… God… how do I say this without sounding stupid…" she pauses for a moment, "Castle, I love you… I have never felt like this before, and I know that it is right and it is true. At the same time, I'm so scared about going to D.C. and everything that comes with this."_

_He glances to the ring on her finger and smiles for a moment._

Her thoughts are interrupted as the elevator dings for the lobby and Bobby is escorting her to the waiting car.

"Thank you."

"I hope everything's okay Miss Beckett." He says, shutting the door behind her.

She hopes so too.

On her way, he mind is swirling in a million different directions, but her eyes come to rest on her left hand again… its placement not going unnoticed by her.

**And he said "I want you forever, forever and always,**

**Through the good and the bad and the ugly,**

**We'll grow old together forever and always."**

_He smiles at her for a while before he can find the words that he wants to say to her. "Kate, I want every single part of this… always. You are my absolute forever, and I don't know how to convince you that this Is going to work. We have been through the best of times, the worst of times… God Kate, we've almost died more times than I can count on both my hands, but we're here. Everything that the two of us have experienced in this lifetime has led us right here… to this moment. You and I have a long future together, growing old together, and loving each other as long as time will allow."_

_She was always amazed by his love for her, and numerous times throughout their relationship she has questioned how he could love her in that way. Then he says these things to her and it all makes sense._

"_Richard Castle, you have a way with words… did you know that?" she says, kissing him before settling back down in her spot._

"_With my muse by my side at all hours now, I can't help it." He says, which earns him a smack from his bride to be. "What was that for?"_

"_I distinctly remember telling you long ago that you needed to stop calling me your muse."_

"_And… as per our long standing traditions… I have chosen to ignore you."_

**She pulls up to the entrance.**

**She walks right to the front desk.**

She smiles to herself at the thoughts, and looks out the window to see the approaching lights of the hospital. Her stomach protests again as she shifts in her seat.

When the driver gets out to let her out, she stands on shaky limbs, looking to him for a question.

"Don't worry about it Miss Beckett. The arrangement we have with Mr. Castle applies to you as well. No need to pay or tip."

"Thank you." She says, giving him a nod and turning towards the entrance.

She thinks for a moment about the way she steels herself before going into an interrogation, and does the same here. She won't be shaken by this… especially because she doesn't know exactly what this is.

Making her way through the emergency doors, she walks over to a desk that is occupied by a short African-American woman.

"Can I help you?" the woman says, not looking up from her computer.

"Yes, I just received a call from the hospital because my fiancé was brought in. They didn't give me any details."

The woman still doesn't acknowledge Kate with a glance when she replies, "We can't give details on the phone."

"I understand that, now can you point me in the direction of my fiancé?"

"Hold on for a moment." She says in a monotone that finally grates Kate's nerves to the point of no return.

She slams her fists down on the counter, "Listen! I don't know what it is that has you so engrossed on that computer, but the last time I checked, receptionists were supposed to receive customers and guests. You gave me snipped answers and didn't even bother to look up at me when you spoke. If you had, which you've finally done now, you would have seen the very scared face of a woman who got a call twenty minutes ago telling her to come to the hospital because something happened to her fiancé. Maybe that would have made you realize that you yourself have loved ones who could be in the same situation at some point and you would need someone to be compassionate and help you find your loved one. So please… can you tell me where I can find my fiancé?"

The woman opens and closes her mouth for a moment before flushing a bit with embarrassment at the situation. "I… I'm sorry ma'am… what is his name?"

"Richard Castle."

"Let me look… oh… um…." The woman looks around and spots someone else, calling them over to cover her spot. "Let me take you where you need to go."


End file.
